The Neon Green Frog

It sounds like a storybook title, huh?
Well, there is definitely a story to our neon green frog.

Here is a little background knowledge....
At Charlie's school, he gets a sticker for every time he uses the toilet to do his thang. When he fills up his sticker chart, he gets to pick out a small prize. The prizes equate to things you would pick out at the dentist office or one of those candy machines at the grocery. They are super cheap, but very exciting for a few hours after he earns one. I usually throw it away within a day or two and it's as good as gone, never to be heard from again. On Monday, he earned a sticky neon green frog, one of those things where you hold onto the leash and throw at the wall. It was similar to these, with the frog being about the size of a quarter.

So yesterday, I was noticing Mack seemed a bit constipated. I mean, it's usually feast or famine with this kid. He is either constipated or having diarrhea. It's never just regular poop. So as I was laying in bed last night, I thought to myself, the way mothers do..."Erica, you should feed Mack some prunes with breakfast." And then I fell into a beautiful slumber...

So when I went to go get the boys up this morning, Mack had a load! Phew, I thought, he pooped (also the way mothers do). Now, the only way to clean Mack's ass is to plant him on the ground with a bottle and pray to sweet jesus that you can get everything cleaned and changed before he finishes it. So as I was clearing the smear, I thought to myself, "oh no! This must be what hemorrhoids look like!" Yeah, it looked like a few little skin tags were emerging from his butt. I felt so bad! I'm the horriblest parent, allowing my nine month old to push out his hard little constipated stool so often that he developed HEMORRHOIDS!

Just as I was about to take a picture and send it to my Mom, so she could confirm my suspicion...I wiped them a few more times to see if they hurt him and they turned GREEN. Neon Green HEMORRHOIDS! OH MY BABY!

And then my real brain kicked in and figured out pretty quickly that babies don't have neon green hemorrhoids, so of course I yanked a bit, just to see...
And, just as he was finishing his bottle, out slid the neon green sticky frog and its long little leash.

Despite my failings as a parent, he crawled away unscathed and happy as a clam, to devour his breakfast and drop another HUGE load...
Until next time, folks!